Recession: Is Delaying Divorce Good?

We all know that the recession has had an effect on everything from retail sales to new home construction. In fact, the recession has even caused people to delay in filing for divorce. It seems that when a broken marriage relationship is paired with uncertain financial times, many couples opt to delay filing for divorce. A survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) showed that 57 percent of lawyers surveyed nationally have seen a drop in divorce filings between fall of 2007 and fall of 2008. The new divorce filings in 2009 and 2010 have certainly fallen further.

Isn't a drop in the divorce rate good news? Not necessarily. If the drop in the divorce rate is a result of couples truly trying to salvage the marriage relationship, then certainly, a drop in the divorce rate is a positive thing. When spouses seek to repair a broken marriage, the positive impact can be tremendous. The crux is that this repair takes responsibility and a commitment to positive change. It takes a look inward. It takes involving third parties (therapists, budgeting partners, pastors, etc.) Sadly, most couples aren't willing to take the look inward and aren't willing to seek the help from others.

A drop in the divorce rate is not good news if a couple is just delaying the inevitable; if there will be continued dramatic decline in the marital relationship. Lawyers and therapists are seeing the emotional and financial toll that a delayed divorce is causing on couples who are just staying together because of a financial recession. From the financial side, waiting on a change in the economy before divorcing might just result in even less equity in the house to split or even more credit card debt to divide when it is all said and done.

In deciding whether to stay in the marriage relationship or file for divorce, couples need the ability to explore all options available. A collaborative approach to divorce might be the solution. With collaborative divorce, spouses commit to using a team approach to solving problems. Sometimes, the result is a marriage reconciliation. Sometimes, the divorce moves forward but positive change is made.
Either way, a collaborative divorce is certainly a better choice than traditional contested litigation.